Lessons from Lust

Lessons from Lust  
Written by: Ron Brown         
Photo by: Keith Davenport

The universe gives us what we focus our attention on even physical connection for carnal needs. I had a onetime affair with a married person who I didn’t know was married. After the physical event I found out that they were married. Guilt waves consumed my post pleasure release.

The individual kept pressing me to hook up again to which I ignored this constant plea. I am morbidly obese and it has been many years since physical pleasure with another had been mine. I had been thinking throughout my days, “It would be nice to touch another who is beautiful and finds me the same.”  Then it happened and I was not specific that I wanted it to be a love that was just my own.

Long were the months 11 in all and a knock at my door was this person again wanting to connect. I quickly told them I was busy as I could not commit adultery.  I then felt like I owed them the truth. After all I have been lusting contact with someone for the past three days in my conscious and unconscious mind.  The universe will give you what you desire – but you need to be specific.

I told them through text message that I didn’t want to be with someone who was cheating with their spouse.  They responded that they were getting divorced.  Constantly they wanted to be with me who was flattering to me and they are a 9 easily on a scale to 10.  But I needed to be strong.  I explained how my moral compass would not allow me to see them again no matter how much I craved the taste of their body.

I said I barely know you and I asked just how old are you anyway. They replied 23.  Twenty-three is so young.  I then asked how many people did they go see besides me to have their needs met.  They told me three. I didn’t feel guilt anymore.  But instead I felt sorry for this very young individual who was so much into instant pleasure multiple times a day and who had four people that were older such as myself who would just be happy to possess them for an hour or two every once in a while.

I told them that I truly wanted them to feel better about themselves then meaningless sex. They kept going back into a loop of lust.  I said when you lay in bed at night alone – do you feel empty – They started saying when you lay in bed to you watch porn…  I saw clearly that this truly amazing looking person was much less then I truly deserve even if I tried to fix them.  How many of us try to fix someone knowing that we know they will not be more than they are right now. I truly know what it is to be alone, but I also know how lucky I am and my place in this universe.

So the lesson through all this is to BE Truly Well – Know what your thoughts dwell on because the universe will bring it to you even though you once you have it see it isn’t what you really want.  Knowing the difference between accepting what comes our way and commanding our desire in conjunction with vibrational truth is the key to having live not on our terms but beyond our conscious mind’s conception of what we know now and the balance of what we are destined to become in conjunction with vibrational truth.

I thought that person 11 months in my past was gone, but my empty longing to be touched and to touch was like driving a car without grasping the steering wheel. 

So be careful what you dwell on and harness the power of those thoughts to connect with what you TRULY need to BE Truly Well.