Sunday, July 31, 2011
“The Story of Rock and Wind” (A Lesson on “MISSED”-Understanding) Written by: Ron Brown Photo by: Keith Davenport
There once was a Rock steadfast and sure solid in every way. Massive in its size and intimidating to eyes that gazed upon it. Rock knew its desired purpose in life and firmly stood in his place for others to climb, enjoy the view from atop his experience and even gain inspiration from the body of his work.
Wind sees Rock and decides to move upon him. All day long Wind blew as hard as he could. Spinning a whirlwind of confusing inconsistent pressure against the face of Rock. Rock looking upon the huge tower of Wind intently determined to cause harm to Rock. Rock thinks “Why would Wind think that he can move me the great and powerful Rock any way?”
Rock trying as he might to understand the universal meaning why Wind wanted to destroy his life plan. He felt the power of the insurmountable pressure against his side. Specks and dust ripped away off of Rock’s surface by Wind’s unpredictable and illogical movement upon Rock’s steadfast form.
Rock try as he might to get Winds attention but to no avail, Wind kept moving along so quickly and was not able to hear or understand Rock. Wind moves back and even disappears for a time. Rock says to himself “What was that about? Did Wind as strong as he think he could move or harm me?” Days go by and Rock looked down and saw the crumbled pebbles of Rock’s frame which now lay below him. Rock starts to well up with anger and fear “How dare Wind cause me such pain for no good reason. I am damaged from the whirl of Wind he must be trying to destroy me!” Welling up with worry, Rock begins to consider how Wind could really cause cracks and even lead to a full collapse of his being even though all that was below him was only dust and small pebbles.
Days later, Wind returns and again spins relentlessly against Rock. Rock less sure than ever before closes his eyes hoping just to hold it together worries about falling to pieces by the superior power of Wind. Wind only saying things softly that Rock could not hear. Hours go by and Wind like before moves away. Rock waits days before daring to open his eyes to look at himself fearing the worst and sure enough he sees even more pebbles and gravel this time below him. The once sure solid mound now ponders his own mortality and shortened existence. Unsure of his future and the clearly defined life plan he always had before Wind showed up, Rock even starts to worry about the ever increasing number of climbers growing each day digging their gear into his body.
Rock feeling anxiety starts to consider that the reason the climbers were there was to enjoy him now before he crumbles to a pile of pieces soon. He thought to himself that perhaps one day these climbers can tell their children how they climbed Rock that once existed and saw the amazing view from the top as they show them the pile of debris left behind and how Rock had been defeated by Wind's attacks.
Then just as Rock feared, Wind comes back and starts to move upon Rock. Rock cries out, “Have mercy on me Wind, I bow to your superior ability, leave me some of my dignity please. You win.” Wind pulls back, and says “Rock, what did you say?” Rock says to Wind, “Please have mercy upon me oh powerful Wind don’t destroy me.” Wind shaking his head says, “Rock, you don’t understand. I am not here to destroy you. Have you not noticed that more people than ever have come to see you for the great Rock you are? Let me show you pictures of what I have been doing to you. Wind shows Rock photos of how he blew away the tattered edges, brought to surface the truly beautiful colors just barley below his rough surface and how now they are clearly visible. Wind showed Rock how he then left a natural glimmer from the polishing effect that his latest treatment provided.
Rock now with new eyes on the situation shed tears of joy. Rock says to Wind, “Why didn’t you tell me what you were doing? I thought you were trying to destroy me but you made me even more then I had ever dreamed of becoming. Thank you Wind for caring that much about me." Wind replies – “Sometimes when you have a vision for your life it takes an unexpected source of help to bring it to reality. For I was passing by when I was summoned here by the universe. It shared with me your plan to be an inspiration to people who would come and climb you and look out from your top. It instructed me to take off the rough edges that kept some from wanting to climb you and to show the true beauty that is you Rock.” Had I not heard from the universe I surely would have just blown by you. But I could not but help but obey what the universe asked of me." Rock over flowing with joy says to Wind, “Wind, you helped me to become beyond my wildest vision for my life. I am so sorry that I thought you were harming me. How can I ever thank you enough?" Wind says with a tear of joy in his eye, “My friend, just be open to help someone else when the universe asks is all the thanks I require. Oh and Rock, one more thing. Always BE Truly Well.”
Long Road Back Home - Short Story By: Ron Brown
Winds sweeping across the dust filled yard which meant to be planted with seed but never was. Billowing clouds dance in the air with a dance flowing till released gently to the ground. Lone broad-shouldered Chase sits tapping his foot to cause his rocking chair on the porch to rock in soothing waving pace with his mind contemplating how he came to this meager existence.
His faded jeans with tears in knees and hip not from fashion purchase but wear and lack of caring. His T-shirt faded from mixing it with his whites with bleach bears marks like clouds from his thoughtless error. His left arm bearing a tattoo he got in the Navy back in the eighties while in port in the Philippines of an anchor with a snake around it when he was too drunk to pick the one he really wanted.
His chest once tight from working out now sags slightly and abs lacking definition he once so proudly had now without a crease to be seen when he glances with regret each morning. His face with few day’s growth upon it having no need to be kept since Andrea left him last year. Hair kept slightly long to cover the scar where she threw his bear bottle at him which he frequently touches so as to remind him of when his life fell apart.
The wind as it continues to ride the spring wind dries his tears from leaving his eyes. Marlboro reds his brand of choice rolled up in his sleeve. The ash barely finds his attention. Rocking ever so slowly with small pauses he reflects on Andreas words hauntingly. “You no good piece of shit. Why the hell didn’t you die before you were born? Then I wouldn’t have to had put up with your shit these past five years” he plays over and over in his mind.
His breathe only existing for his smoke and sighs which he finds so hard to even try. Chase rose from his chair grabbing his lighter from the table next to him moves with zombie like motions, shoulders rounded from the weight of his life. Grabbing the door handle which is loose from lack of attention brings only a sigh from Chase.
He slams the door behind him and pauses for a moan “What a fucking loser I am” he whispers with pouting tone. The floor covered in beer cans and wrappers from junk food his only source of substance since Andrea left. Grabbing a burger from the table half eaten from the night before not caring of its condition or coldness he devours a few bites and then throws it on the floor.
He then picks up his 22 caliper revolver from the couch and sits down holding it in his hands and running his fingers along the barrel wishing instead it was Andrea’s skin. He flips open to make sure that the bullet is in the right chamber and flicks it shut. “I can’t go on like this” Chase shouts while looking up at his ceiling hoping for angelic intervention but finding only his own echo. Turning the barrel toward his face and finger shaking on the trigger he says, “This one’s for you Andrea. I can’t not be born but I can die for you. Is that what you want?” Squinting his eyes with the barrel in his mouth, shaking his finger gathering courage to squeeze down.
Chase loses his grip on the gun and falls against the side of his couch. A bright light flashes in the room. Could this be his angel almost too late? Chase holding a pillow to his face is oblivious to the light filling the room. A glowing orb makes its way downward glowing toward his moaning frame and swiftly departs back through his ceiling.
Going ever upward the orb finds the sky grey and puffy with weighted moisture waiting for release. As the orb makes its way through the cloud puncturing the withheld moisture as the rains strong in flow find their way to the dusty ground matching the tears in chases pillow. As the orb reaches the top of clouds it finds an awaiting portal worm hole in shape which removes it from presence.
Chase tired from ongoing tears falls asleep as the gun slides off the couch to the floor as he positions himself on his back. As if minutes the sun finds its way magically in the sky and sudden clearing of the storm in seconds reveals a slender woman dressed in a long flowing dress. Ripped at the hem from her hurried pace as she starts to run toward Chases’ ranch. She stumbles upon her dress and falls to the ground hitting her head on a rock. Blood flowing from the gash in her cheek she passes out.
Chase now finds the light in his eyes squints and sits up saying “damn, why the fuck can’t I end it all. I’m such s pussy.” He grabs the gun in anger at his failed mission and places it on the table next to the couch. Rising up from the couch with his arms stretched out with a yawn, he reaches down to scratch is balls and sniffs his arm pit and wrinkles his nose as the smell too much for his senses he swiftly pulls away and thinks, who gives a fuck, not like I’m going to see anyone anyway.
He opens the front door to find the woman lying on the ground. He quickly rushes out and says, “Andrea?” But seeing her brown shoulder length hair he realizes it’s not her. Seeing the puddle of blood he quickly kneels beside her and takes her in her arms carefully placing his face close to hers feeling a faint breath, he thinks to himself, “thank God”.
He caring her body into his house kicking beer cans and trash out of the way finds the stair case and carries her up to his bedroom which he hasn’t slept in since Andrea left him a year ago. He lays her down gently and runs to the bathroom looking for his first aid kit and wash cloth. He returns kneeling down by the bed and gently wipes the blood from her cheek, applying hydrogen peroxide to the wound and places some Neosporin on a gauze pad and puts tape on it to ensure it would stay in place.
Finding a chair in the corner, he places it beside the bed and thinks to himself, “who are you? You’re so beautiful. How did you get here? What the heck happened to you and why are you in a gown?” As the sun made its way across the sky, Chase only left her side for a minute to take a piss, wash his hands and pits. And returned to her side not even thinking about his needs for food he watched as she started to move. She mumbled “Stop, don’t touch me.” Turning into a screamed again “Stop!” as her eyes came open and she sat up. Frantically looking around to see where she was.
She felt the bandage on her cheek and said, “Who are you?” Chase said, “I’m Chase. I found you in my yard this morning. You were bleeding and I brought you in my house to make sure you were ok. What the heck happened to you?” Her hurried breathes started to relax seeing his friendly face.” I’m, Donna, Donna Johnson. Oh thank God, for a minute I thought you were that guy who ran my car off the road.” “Where was this?” he asked. She said, “I was on my way to a fundraising ball for disabled vets when some guy ran me off the road and into a ditch on highway 12 near Saw Mill Creek.” “Saw Mill Creek?” Chase said. “That’s five miles from here.” You poor thing he thought to himself catching a smile on her face. “I started down the road to find any sign of life but all the houses were dark except yours.” “Mine?” he said. “My lights were off last night.” “No. I saw this glowing light in your window when I was a mile away. That’s why I started running to your house. Then, I fell and that’s all I can remember”. “Huh,” he replied. Thinking that’s weird.
Chase said, “You hungry?” Donna replied, “No, but thank you for asking. I’m just sore” Grabbing her cheek. “Do you want to see a doctor about your cheek? I can drive you to town to the hospital if you want” He said. Donna replied, “Can I see a mirror?” Chase said, “Sure, sit still, I’ll go get my girlfriends, I mean ex-girlfriends she left behind.” Quickly he rushed to the dresser and grabbed the hand mirror and returned to her bed side. She smiled and took the mirror out of his hand touching his hand gently saying “Thanks, Chase was it?” Chase, slightly flustered at his appearance said, “Yeah, Chase.” She looked into the mirror, gently pulling the tape from the gauze and said, “That’s not too bad, I’ll be ok.” Removing the full bandage she said. “You’re my hero.” Chase said, “Nah, I couldn’t just leave you on the ground now could I” in a flirting tone showing a smile for the first time in a year.
Chase said, “Why don’t you get some rest for a while and I go check on your car and see if I can get it towed for ya.” Donna smiled and said, “You know even though I was passed out, I could use some rest. Thanks my angel.” Chase flustered and pleased by her comment, said “Rest Donna, I’ll take care of everything.
Chase rushing out the door grabbing his car keys and cell phone off the table by the door ran off to go check out her car. Donna, thinking of how cute Chase looked, tried to sleep, but was so curious about her rescuer. She rose from the bed and began looking around the bedroom seeing a picture of him with a blonde haired woman. Thinking to herself, “huh, guess she is the ex.” She noticed how the female items on the vanity were still in place like she still lived there. Donna slowly made her way down the stairs seeing trash and beer cans on the ground. She found her way to the kitchen. And found the broom, trash bags and began to clean up the mess. She said to herself, “It is the least I can do for my Chase”. She giggled, “My Chase, that sounds nice.” Donna had known such heart ache in her life as her husband Brad had been killed in the Gulf War one month after their marriage. That’s why she focused on helping disabled vets with her spare time to fill the void of her lack of her husband. Filling 10 trash bags and placing them out by the trash cans on the side of the house, Donna finally found the living room next.
She bent down and started picking up pieces of food, wrappers and cans not even caring about his mess. She started humming. She looked up on the table and saw a picture of Chase in his Navy uniform. Her eyes tearing up thinking of her late husband Brad. She then noticed the ship he was on was the USS Intrepid, a sister ship to her late Brad. She looked lovingly in to Chase’s face in the picture grabbing it with her hand. She said, “Wow, he was just as handsome then.”
Wiping her eyes she spotted the gun on the floor. Picking it up she started to think, “What is this doing here?” she looked to see it was loaded with a single bullet and started to think, “Oh my God, he couldn’t have been so hurting to do that.” And placed the gun behind the table so he wouldn’t be tempted to think about that again.
She now with even more fervor started cleaning up the mess that was Chase’s life. She went back and got the 409 and paper towels and began cleaning every inch of this downstairs home. Humming out loud she began to think of Chase’s face in that picture and when she woke up in his bed. “Donna girl, get a grip, he probably wouldn’t want you.” Now scrubbing with more force to repay her debt to him. “Well at least I can leave him with a clean home.
After finishing, she wondered where he was as the light of day was reaching dusk. She kept looking out the window and saw a pickup truck with its lights on coming down the dirt drive. She ran upstairs and giggled to herself. “Donna, he is going to think your some Looney tune. Chance entering his house dropped his cell seeing the state of his home.
Flowers in his hand that he had picked up to make her feel better and a bag of groceries to make dinner for her placed on the table. “Donna? He shouted, you still here? Donna, biting her lip, said “Yeah, I’m upstairs.” Chase, half embarrassed by her cleaning up his mess and half glad she was still there ran up half way up the stairs and thought, “Damn, do I give her the flowers or not? I don’t want her to think I’m some freak, especially after she cleaned my shit hole.” He then thought of her face and ran the rest of the way up the stairs hiding the dozen peach roses behind his back.
“Donna? Um thanks for cleaning up my house, I feel so bad, I’m such a slob.” Chase said humbly. Donna said, “Chase, please it was the least I could do after you helped me.” Chase said, “Still, thank you. She moved her legs inviting him to sit on the bed beside her. “Please sit down Chase.” He holding the roses behind his back, sat down, and said “Um, I got you something to make you feel better” he said as he revealed the dozen roses from behind his back. Donna trying hard not to cry, found tears streaming down her face. “Chase, they are beautiful she cried.” He said, “Hey no tears, I’m sorry I was hoping they would make you feel better.” Donna said “They did. They are beautiful.” She then explained about her dead husband Brad and how he was killed in the Persian Gulf as part of a landing party during the war. Chase touched her hand and said, “I’m so sorry.” What was his name?” Donna replied, Brad, Brad Johnson.” Chase’s face turned white as a ghost. He asked, “What was his rank?” Donna said, “He was a Lieutenant assigned to the Navy seals. Why?” Chase, not knowing how to collect his thoughts, started to cry. “Chase, why are you crying?”
“Donna. I was part of the team assigned to the support unit for Brad. I saw him the night before he died.” Donna now tingling all over with emotions, said, “What? I’m sorry, what?” Not believing her ears of what he had just said. Chase, said, “I remember that night like it was yesterday. We joined his ship for a meal together right after he had his primary mission briefing. Brad and I knew each other from training back in Virginia. He told me about how he just got married before deploying to a wonderful woman named….. d….da… Donna. Oh my God. How could it be you?” Donna said, “Yes, that is me.” Chase replied, “But, Donna lived in Virginia?” Donna said after Brad died I moved back home to be close to my parents. Chase said, “Oh, my. Donna, your husband was a great guy. He told me all about your hopes to have a child after he returned from the gulf. He showed a wedding picture he kept in a waterproof case around his neck. He went on for hours about you. He cried that night as we talked and said he had a bad feeling about the mission. He told me that he wanted to be with you and wasn’t going to re-up after his tour of duty was over so he could spend the rest of his life in your arms.” Donna, crying as Chase continued talking.
She said, “Go on, I need to hear this. You knew Brad the last night he was alive, I want to hear this.” Chase said, “Ok. I… I was listening to him go on about you and it sounded like a fairy tale that I wish I had in my life. He told me that he didn’t think he was going to make it and wrote a letter. He gave it to me in case he didn’t make it. I was over there for 5 months more and when we came back to Virginia, I couldn’t find you.” Donna said, “Yeah, I left the base after we buried Brad at Arlington. I needed to be near Mom and Dad for support. They both died a few years later. But I stayed here and worked at the VA Hospital in the administration department. You said something about a letter?” Chase said, “Yes, I still have it. Oh my God. I do. I didn’t know where to send it so I held on to it.” Chase, quickly rising to his feet ran over to his dresser and pulled open the top drawer. Grabbing on to the envelope, he rushed back to the bed side. “Here it is, Donna. I’m so sorry the base didn’t know where you moved to and I looked all over the Internet for your name, but couldn’t find you.”
Donna, shaking slowly grabbed the letter and said, “I can’t read it. Can you please read it to me?” Chase said, “I’d be honored to Donna.” He carefully took the envelope out of Donna’s hand. Donna said, “Thanks Chase.” Brad carefully treating the letter with the respect he had for years, opened the envelope and unfolded the letter. He began to read, “My dearest Donna, I am so lucky that I found you that summer day in Pittsburgh at college. Your smile and the way the sun glistened in your hair. The beautiful way you walked across the quad that day, I fell for you right then. My heart was in my throat and I could barely say a word as I walked up to you. The way you smiled and tilted your head, melting my apprehension and I was able to talk with you. You won me over from first sight and I am ever grateful that you are my wife. I am about to go on a mission that I can’t talk about, but if your reading this, I didn’t return. The guy I gave it to is Chase. He is a good friend to me and I want you to lean on him should I not return.”
Chase stopped reading the letter allowed and read the rest to himself. Donna said, “Chase, please read the rest to me.” Chase said, “I can’t, you need to read this yourself.” He handed her the letter and swiftly found where Chase had stopped. She read the rest to herself. “My dearest Donna. I know you will miss me if I should not live past tomorrow. I want you to find a guy to love you like I do. Someone like Chase. He is a great guy and a good friend to me. I know this sound silly, but if he is still alone like he is now, I want you to be a friend to him. He helped me realize just how great a friend can be. You can count on him to talk you through me not being there. Find a new guy to give you the love that I wouldn’t be able to give you my love. Someone great like Chase. I will be up in heaven watching you and know that I want you to find love in your life again. I hope you will never need to read this, but if you do, never doubt, that my last thoughts on earth will be of your tender embrace and love you filled me with to over flowing. Yours forever, Brad”
Donna, flowing with tears grabbed Chase and cried in his arms for an hour. Chase held on saying, “I’m so sorry, Donna I wish I could have found you when I got back.” Donna said, “Chase, you couldn’t have known where I was. I wanted to get away from anything that would remind me of the sea, but the VA Hospital was my way of remembering Brad. I can’t believe that of all the houses on the night I needed help most. I found you. That light in your house was so bright only your home pointed me where to go. How odd.” Chase said, “Honestly, Donna, I was going to kill myself last night.” Donna quickly interrupted him. “Chase, I know about the gun, I found it when I was cleaning. But you must have had a light on in your house. I saw such a bright light that lead me only here.” Chase said, “I had no light on, I passed out after I couldn’t pull the trigger.”
Donna said, “Huh, how did I find you then?” Chase said, “I don’t know. But I’m so glad you did. You needed that letter.” Both of them suddenly fell asleep in each other’s arms as if by a spell. Donna waking up with the letter still clinched in her hand, read the line again about Chase. A warm feeling filled her heart as if Brad himself had led her to Chase. When morning light filled the room, Donna still liking the feel of another man’s embrace almost with Brads approval made her fell so loved.
Chase waking up quickly removed his arms from Donna wanting not to seem like he was trying to take advantage of her. She quickly said, “Don’t go. You are the first man I held since Brad died and his letter told me I can trust you.” Chase lay there allowing the feelings of a woman’s touch to be validated without guilt. Donna, feeling the scar on the back of Chase’s neck said, ‘How did you get this scar? Was it in the war? Chase said, “Oh it was a war alright, but not with guns. My ex, Andrea through a beer bottle at me when I asked her to stop being so mean when she drank. She made me feel so bad and I loved her with all my heart. After she cut my neck with the bottle, I went to the hospital and after I got out, she was gone. She didn’t take any of her things except a suite case with some of her things. She left me a note. I still have it. Do you want to read it? I mean I read Brad’s letter, I think it is the least I can do.” Donna, touched by his tenderness said, “Chase, I would be honored to read it.”
Chase letting go of his loving embrace of Donna found the drawer by the bed. He said, You know, “This was the first night I slept in this bed since she left. Funny huh?” Donna smiling at his tenderness replied, “No Chase, I think it is sweet that we shared comfort last night. I haven’t slept that good since the last night Brad and I were together.”
Chase then pulled the drawer open and got the letter out. He handed it to her and said, “You know, Donna, this might sound weird, but, I feel so close to you.” Donna replied as she took the letter from his hand. “Chase, I feel the same way, it is like fate brought us together.” She then began reading the short letter from Andrea. “Chase, I know I am a horrible person when I drink. I can’t be with you anymore. It’s not you, it’s me. I just can’t get past that story you kept telling me over and over again about the Lieutenant and how you wanted the kind of love he had. I can’t be that Chase. I can never be like this woman that guy was married to. I’m me and I hate you for trying to make us have that perfect kind of love. Drop dead Brad. Maybe in hell you will be able to forget about some imaginary fantasy woman you tried to think I could be. I’m leaving you and never looking back. Bye you piece of shit.”
Donna, with tears in her eyes said, “Chase, you wanted Andrea to be like me? You never knew me, I’m not perfect. I’m so sorry if I caused you pain with Andrea.” Chase replied, “Donna, you don’t know Andrea she was just a girl who I thought I could change and it ruined me. You know Brad and I were close more than just that one night. He told me all about your ups and down during your relationship. Brad loved you because you accepted him for him. I know Brad and that takes a special woman.” Donna filled with affection for Chase’s words, said, “Chase, how can I feel so strongly for you so quickly, but I do. I can’t help it. It is like Brad was pointing my broken heart in your direction.” Chase said, “Huh, glad I didn’t pull that trigger last night.” Donna said, “Chase, I am so glad you didn’t either.”
As days went on, Chase helped repair Donna’s car and each night she brought him dinner. One year to the day they met, Chase and Donna were to be married. On that morning on Chase’s ranch now green with grass and full of love, Chase and Donna were in the backyard with all their friends in seats as the minister said “Is there anyone who objects to this couple from being man and wife let them speak now or forever hold their piece” A bright light from the few clouds above seemed to cover warmth on the couple. As the minister said, “I now pronounce you man and wife”. The sky parted and an orb watching from above flowed out into the universe. Everyone said, “Did you see that?” No one had a clue, but Donna kissing Chase, and then whispered, “Must have been Brad.” Chase said, “At least he didn’t object to us being man and wife.” They both felt a tingle in their beings of such joy knowing that their fate had been designed from above.
His faded jeans with tears in knees and hip not from fashion purchase but wear and lack of caring. His T-shirt faded from mixing it with his whites with bleach bears marks like clouds from his thoughtless error. His left arm bearing a tattoo he got in the Navy back in the eighties while in port in the Philippines of an anchor with a snake around it when he was too drunk to pick the one he really wanted.
His chest once tight from working out now sags slightly and abs lacking definition he once so proudly had now without a crease to be seen when he glances with regret each morning. His face with few day’s growth upon it having no need to be kept since Andrea left him last year. Hair kept slightly long to cover the scar where she threw his bear bottle at him which he frequently touches so as to remind him of when his life fell apart.
The wind as it continues to ride the spring wind dries his tears from leaving his eyes. Marlboro reds his brand of choice rolled up in his sleeve. The ash barely finds his attention. Rocking ever so slowly with small pauses he reflects on Andreas words hauntingly. “You no good piece of shit. Why the hell didn’t you die before you were born? Then I wouldn’t have to had put up with your shit these past five years” he plays over and over in his mind.
His breathe only existing for his smoke and sighs which he finds so hard to even try. Chase rose from his chair grabbing his lighter from the table next to him moves with zombie like motions, shoulders rounded from the weight of his life. Grabbing the door handle which is loose from lack of attention brings only a sigh from Chase.
He slams the door behind him and pauses for a moan “What a fucking loser I am” he whispers with pouting tone. The floor covered in beer cans and wrappers from junk food his only source of substance since Andrea left. Grabbing a burger from the table half eaten from the night before not caring of its condition or coldness he devours a few bites and then throws it on the floor.
He then picks up his 22 caliper revolver from the couch and sits down holding it in his hands and running his fingers along the barrel wishing instead it was Andrea’s skin. He flips open to make sure that the bullet is in the right chamber and flicks it shut. “I can’t go on like this” Chase shouts while looking up at his ceiling hoping for angelic intervention but finding only his own echo. Turning the barrel toward his face and finger shaking on the trigger he says, “This one’s for you Andrea. I can’t not be born but I can die for you. Is that what you want?” Squinting his eyes with the barrel in his mouth, shaking his finger gathering courage to squeeze down.
Chase loses his grip on the gun and falls against the side of his couch. A bright light flashes in the room. Could this be his angel almost too late? Chase holding a pillow to his face is oblivious to the light filling the room. A glowing orb makes its way downward glowing toward his moaning frame and swiftly departs back through his ceiling.
Going ever upward the orb finds the sky grey and puffy with weighted moisture waiting for release. As the orb makes its way through the cloud puncturing the withheld moisture as the rains strong in flow find their way to the dusty ground matching the tears in chases pillow. As the orb reaches the top of clouds it finds an awaiting portal worm hole in shape which removes it from presence.
Chase tired from ongoing tears falls asleep as the gun slides off the couch to the floor as he positions himself on his back. As if minutes the sun finds its way magically in the sky and sudden clearing of the storm in seconds reveals a slender woman dressed in a long flowing dress. Ripped at the hem from her hurried pace as she starts to run toward Chases’ ranch. She stumbles upon her dress and falls to the ground hitting her head on a rock. Blood flowing from the gash in her cheek she passes out.
Chase now finds the light in his eyes squints and sits up saying “damn, why the fuck can’t I end it all. I’m such s pussy.” He grabs the gun in anger at his failed mission and places it on the table next to the couch. Rising up from the couch with his arms stretched out with a yawn, he reaches down to scratch is balls and sniffs his arm pit and wrinkles his nose as the smell too much for his senses he swiftly pulls away and thinks, who gives a fuck, not like I’m going to see anyone anyway.
He opens the front door to find the woman lying on the ground. He quickly rushes out and says, “Andrea?” But seeing her brown shoulder length hair he realizes it’s not her. Seeing the puddle of blood he quickly kneels beside her and takes her in her arms carefully placing his face close to hers feeling a faint breath, he thinks to himself, “thank God”.
He caring her body into his house kicking beer cans and trash out of the way finds the stair case and carries her up to his bedroom which he hasn’t slept in since Andrea left him a year ago. He lays her down gently and runs to the bathroom looking for his first aid kit and wash cloth. He returns kneeling down by the bed and gently wipes the blood from her cheek, applying hydrogen peroxide to the wound and places some Neosporin on a gauze pad and puts tape on it to ensure it would stay in place.
Finding a chair in the corner, he places it beside the bed and thinks to himself, “who are you? You’re so beautiful. How did you get here? What the heck happened to you and why are you in a gown?” As the sun made its way across the sky, Chase only left her side for a minute to take a piss, wash his hands and pits. And returned to her side not even thinking about his needs for food he watched as she started to move. She mumbled “Stop, don’t touch me.” Turning into a screamed again “Stop!” as her eyes came open and she sat up. Frantically looking around to see where she was.
She felt the bandage on her cheek and said, “Who are you?” Chase said, “I’m Chase. I found you in my yard this morning. You were bleeding and I brought you in my house to make sure you were ok. What the heck happened to you?” Her hurried breathes started to relax seeing his friendly face.” I’m, Donna, Donna Johnson. Oh thank God, for a minute I thought you were that guy who ran my car off the road.” “Where was this?” he asked. She said, “I was on my way to a fundraising ball for disabled vets when some guy ran me off the road and into a ditch on highway 12 near Saw Mill Creek.” “Saw Mill Creek?” Chase said. “That’s five miles from here.” You poor thing he thought to himself catching a smile on her face. “I started down the road to find any sign of life but all the houses were dark except yours.” “Mine?” he said. “My lights were off last night.” “No. I saw this glowing light in your window when I was a mile away. That’s why I started running to your house. Then, I fell and that’s all I can remember”. “Huh,” he replied. Thinking that’s weird.
Chase said, “You hungry?” Donna replied, “No, but thank you for asking. I’m just sore” Grabbing her cheek. “Do you want to see a doctor about your cheek? I can drive you to town to the hospital if you want” He said. Donna replied, “Can I see a mirror?” Chase said, “Sure, sit still, I’ll go get my girlfriends, I mean ex-girlfriends she left behind.” Quickly he rushed to the dresser and grabbed the hand mirror and returned to her bed side. She smiled and took the mirror out of his hand touching his hand gently saying “Thanks, Chase was it?” Chase, slightly flustered at his appearance said, “Yeah, Chase.” She looked into the mirror, gently pulling the tape from the gauze and said, “That’s not too bad, I’ll be ok.” Removing the full bandage she said. “You’re my hero.” Chase said, “Nah, I couldn’t just leave you on the ground now could I” in a flirting tone showing a smile for the first time in a year.
Chase said, “Why don’t you get some rest for a while and I go check on your car and see if I can get it towed for ya.” Donna smiled and said, “You know even though I was passed out, I could use some rest. Thanks my angel.” Chase flustered and pleased by her comment, said “Rest Donna, I’ll take care of everything.
Chase rushing out the door grabbing his car keys and cell phone off the table by the door ran off to go check out her car. Donna, thinking of how cute Chase looked, tried to sleep, but was so curious about her rescuer. She rose from the bed and began looking around the bedroom seeing a picture of him with a blonde haired woman. Thinking to herself, “huh, guess she is the ex.” She noticed how the female items on the vanity were still in place like she still lived there. Donna slowly made her way down the stairs seeing trash and beer cans on the ground. She found her way to the kitchen. And found the broom, trash bags and began to clean up the mess. She said to herself, “It is the least I can do for my Chase”. She giggled, “My Chase, that sounds nice.” Donna had known such heart ache in her life as her husband Brad had been killed in the Gulf War one month after their marriage. That’s why she focused on helping disabled vets with her spare time to fill the void of her lack of her husband. Filling 10 trash bags and placing them out by the trash cans on the side of the house, Donna finally found the living room next.
She bent down and started picking up pieces of food, wrappers and cans not even caring about his mess. She started humming. She looked up on the table and saw a picture of Chase in his Navy uniform. Her eyes tearing up thinking of her late husband Brad. She then noticed the ship he was on was the USS Intrepid, a sister ship to her late Brad. She looked lovingly in to Chase’s face in the picture grabbing it with her hand. She said, “Wow, he was just as handsome then.”
Wiping her eyes she spotted the gun on the floor. Picking it up she started to think, “What is this doing here?” she looked to see it was loaded with a single bullet and started to think, “Oh my God, he couldn’t have been so hurting to do that.” And placed the gun behind the table so he wouldn’t be tempted to think about that again.
She now with even more fervor started cleaning up the mess that was Chase’s life. She went back and got the 409 and paper towels and began cleaning every inch of this downstairs home. Humming out loud she began to think of Chase’s face in that picture and when she woke up in his bed. “Donna girl, get a grip, he probably wouldn’t want you.” Now scrubbing with more force to repay her debt to him. “Well at least I can leave him with a clean home.
After finishing, she wondered where he was as the light of day was reaching dusk. She kept looking out the window and saw a pickup truck with its lights on coming down the dirt drive. She ran upstairs and giggled to herself. “Donna, he is going to think your some Looney tune. Chance entering his house dropped his cell seeing the state of his home.
Flowers in his hand that he had picked up to make her feel better and a bag of groceries to make dinner for her placed on the table. “Donna? He shouted, you still here? Donna, biting her lip, said “Yeah, I’m upstairs.” Chase, half embarrassed by her cleaning up his mess and half glad she was still there ran up half way up the stairs and thought, “Damn, do I give her the flowers or not? I don’t want her to think I’m some freak, especially after she cleaned my shit hole.” He then thought of her face and ran the rest of the way up the stairs hiding the dozen peach roses behind his back.
“Donna? Um thanks for cleaning up my house, I feel so bad, I’m such a slob.” Chase said humbly. Donna said, “Chase, please it was the least I could do after you helped me.” Chase said, “Still, thank you. She moved her legs inviting him to sit on the bed beside her. “Please sit down Chase.” He holding the roses behind his back, sat down, and said “Um, I got you something to make you feel better” he said as he revealed the dozen roses from behind his back. Donna trying hard not to cry, found tears streaming down her face. “Chase, they are beautiful she cried.” He said, “Hey no tears, I’m sorry I was hoping they would make you feel better.” Donna said “They did. They are beautiful.” She then explained about her dead husband Brad and how he was killed in the Persian Gulf as part of a landing party during the war. Chase touched her hand and said, “I’m so sorry.” What was his name?” Donna replied, Brad, Brad Johnson.” Chase’s face turned white as a ghost. He asked, “What was his rank?” Donna said, “He was a Lieutenant assigned to the Navy seals. Why?” Chase, not knowing how to collect his thoughts, started to cry. “Chase, why are you crying?”
“Donna. I was part of the team assigned to the support unit for Brad. I saw him the night before he died.” Donna now tingling all over with emotions, said, “What? I’m sorry, what?” Not believing her ears of what he had just said. Chase, said, “I remember that night like it was yesterday. We joined his ship for a meal together right after he had his primary mission briefing. Brad and I knew each other from training back in Virginia. He told me about how he just got married before deploying to a wonderful woman named….. d….da… Donna. Oh my God. How could it be you?” Donna said, “Yes, that is me.” Chase replied, “But, Donna lived in Virginia?” Donna said after Brad died I moved back home to be close to my parents. Chase said, “Oh, my. Donna, your husband was a great guy. He told me all about your hopes to have a child after he returned from the gulf. He showed a wedding picture he kept in a waterproof case around his neck. He went on for hours about you. He cried that night as we talked and said he had a bad feeling about the mission. He told me that he wanted to be with you and wasn’t going to re-up after his tour of duty was over so he could spend the rest of his life in your arms.” Donna, crying as Chase continued talking.
She said, “Go on, I need to hear this. You knew Brad the last night he was alive, I want to hear this.” Chase said, “Ok. I… I was listening to him go on about you and it sounded like a fairy tale that I wish I had in my life. He told me that he didn’t think he was going to make it and wrote a letter. He gave it to me in case he didn’t make it. I was over there for 5 months more and when we came back to Virginia, I couldn’t find you.” Donna said, “Yeah, I left the base after we buried Brad at Arlington. I needed to be near Mom and Dad for support. They both died a few years later. But I stayed here and worked at the VA Hospital in the administration department. You said something about a letter?” Chase said, “Yes, I still have it. Oh my God. I do. I didn’t know where to send it so I held on to it.” Chase, quickly rising to his feet ran over to his dresser and pulled open the top drawer. Grabbing on to the envelope, he rushed back to the bed side. “Here it is, Donna. I’m so sorry the base didn’t know where you moved to and I looked all over the Internet for your name, but couldn’t find you.”
Donna, shaking slowly grabbed the letter and said, “I can’t read it. Can you please read it to me?” Chase said, “I’d be honored to Donna.” He carefully took the envelope out of Donna’s hand. Donna said, “Thanks Chase.” Brad carefully treating the letter with the respect he had for years, opened the envelope and unfolded the letter. He began to read, “My dearest Donna, I am so lucky that I found you that summer day in Pittsburgh at college. Your smile and the way the sun glistened in your hair. The beautiful way you walked across the quad that day, I fell for you right then. My heart was in my throat and I could barely say a word as I walked up to you. The way you smiled and tilted your head, melting my apprehension and I was able to talk with you. You won me over from first sight and I am ever grateful that you are my wife. I am about to go on a mission that I can’t talk about, but if your reading this, I didn’t return. The guy I gave it to is Chase. He is a good friend to me and I want you to lean on him should I not return.”
Chase stopped reading the letter allowed and read the rest to himself. Donna said, “Chase, please read the rest to me.” Chase said, “I can’t, you need to read this yourself.” He handed her the letter and swiftly found where Chase had stopped. She read the rest to herself. “My dearest Donna. I know you will miss me if I should not live past tomorrow. I want you to find a guy to love you like I do. Someone like Chase. He is a great guy and a good friend to me. I know this sound silly, but if he is still alone like he is now, I want you to be a friend to him. He helped me realize just how great a friend can be. You can count on him to talk you through me not being there. Find a new guy to give you the love that I wouldn’t be able to give you my love. Someone great like Chase. I will be up in heaven watching you and know that I want you to find love in your life again. I hope you will never need to read this, but if you do, never doubt, that my last thoughts on earth will be of your tender embrace and love you filled me with to over flowing. Yours forever, Brad”
Donna, flowing with tears grabbed Chase and cried in his arms for an hour. Chase held on saying, “I’m so sorry, Donna I wish I could have found you when I got back.” Donna said, “Chase, you couldn’t have known where I was. I wanted to get away from anything that would remind me of the sea, but the VA Hospital was my way of remembering Brad. I can’t believe that of all the houses on the night I needed help most. I found you. That light in your house was so bright only your home pointed me where to go. How odd.” Chase said, “Honestly, Donna, I was going to kill myself last night.” Donna quickly interrupted him. “Chase, I know about the gun, I found it when I was cleaning. But you must have had a light on in your house. I saw such a bright light that lead me only here.” Chase said, “I had no light on, I passed out after I couldn’t pull the trigger.”
Donna said, “Huh, how did I find you then?” Chase said, “I don’t know. But I’m so glad you did. You needed that letter.” Both of them suddenly fell asleep in each other’s arms as if by a spell. Donna waking up with the letter still clinched in her hand, read the line again about Chase. A warm feeling filled her heart as if Brad himself had led her to Chase. When morning light filled the room, Donna still liking the feel of another man’s embrace almost with Brads approval made her fell so loved.
Chase waking up quickly removed his arms from Donna wanting not to seem like he was trying to take advantage of her. She quickly said, “Don’t go. You are the first man I held since Brad died and his letter told me I can trust you.” Chase lay there allowing the feelings of a woman’s touch to be validated without guilt. Donna, feeling the scar on the back of Chase’s neck said, ‘How did you get this scar? Was it in the war? Chase said, “Oh it was a war alright, but not with guns. My ex, Andrea through a beer bottle at me when I asked her to stop being so mean when she drank. She made me feel so bad and I loved her with all my heart. After she cut my neck with the bottle, I went to the hospital and after I got out, she was gone. She didn’t take any of her things except a suite case with some of her things. She left me a note. I still have it. Do you want to read it? I mean I read Brad’s letter, I think it is the least I can do.” Donna, touched by his tenderness said, “Chase, I would be honored to read it.”
Chase letting go of his loving embrace of Donna found the drawer by the bed. He said, You know, “This was the first night I slept in this bed since she left. Funny huh?” Donna smiling at his tenderness replied, “No Chase, I think it is sweet that we shared comfort last night. I haven’t slept that good since the last night Brad and I were together.”
Chase then pulled the drawer open and got the letter out. He handed it to her and said, “You know, Donna, this might sound weird, but, I feel so close to you.” Donna replied as she took the letter from his hand. “Chase, I feel the same way, it is like fate brought us together.” She then began reading the short letter from Andrea. “Chase, I know I am a horrible person when I drink. I can’t be with you anymore. It’s not you, it’s me. I just can’t get past that story you kept telling me over and over again about the Lieutenant and how you wanted the kind of love he had. I can’t be that Chase. I can never be like this woman that guy was married to. I’m me and I hate you for trying to make us have that perfect kind of love. Drop dead Brad. Maybe in hell you will be able to forget about some imaginary fantasy woman you tried to think I could be. I’m leaving you and never looking back. Bye you piece of shit.”
Donna, with tears in her eyes said, “Chase, you wanted Andrea to be like me? You never knew me, I’m not perfect. I’m so sorry if I caused you pain with Andrea.” Chase replied, “Donna, you don’t know Andrea she was just a girl who I thought I could change and it ruined me. You know Brad and I were close more than just that one night. He told me all about your ups and down during your relationship. Brad loved you because you accepted him for him. I know Brad and that takes a special woman.” Donna filled with affection for Chase’s words, said, “Chase, how can I feel so strongly for you so quickly, but I do. I can’t help it. It is like Brad was pointing my broken heart in your direction.” Chase said, “Huh, glad I didn’t pull that trigger last night.” Donna said, “Chase, I am so glad you didn’t either.”
As days went on, Chase helped repair Donna’s car and each night she brought him dinner. One year to the day they met, Chase and Donna were to be married. On that morning on Chase’s ranch now green with grass and full of love, Chase and Donna were in the backyard with all their friends in seats as the minister said “Is there anyone who objects to this couple from being man and wife let them speak now or forever hold their piece” A bright light from the few clouds above seemed to cover warmth on the couple. As the minister said, “I now pronounce you man and wife”. The sky parted and an orb watching from above flowed out into the universe. Everyone said, “Did you see that?” No one had a clue, but Donna kissing Chase, and then whispered, “Must have been Brad.” Chase said, “At least he didn’t object to us being man and wife.” They both felt a tingle in their beings of such joy knowing that their fate had been designed from above.
Sasha’s Struggle - A short story by: Ron Brown
Trying to hold focus on the long lonely drive home, Sasha kept the driver side window down to feel the brisk air flowing across her face. The fall sky with silence of movement except for the full moon keeping watch in the dark night with only faint twinkles of the stars which Sasha often wished upon as a young innocent girl in Odessa. No comfort do these stars bring her tonight for she must make her way stopping only for fuel and bathroom breaks. Sasha pulling the last of the clips from her hair which always held her trademark hair back shaking the shoulder length shimmering blonde hair loose. Her mind reviewing the events of only two days before when all was right with her life. Flashes of Leo’s kiss still causing tingles down her spine. A horn blares past her as she realizes that her fantasy flashback of Leo’s tender hands upon her back and full lips connecting with hers kept her from focusing on the road. “Pull your shit together Sasha” she shouted slamming her palm against the steering wheel. “Damn it Leo, my love for you is going to kill me yet!” she exclaimed turning up the volume on her CD to try to divert her torrid affair from her mind like a cleansing wave. “I can’t lose Peter!” she exclaimed with resolve gripping the wheel. “Damn it! I gotta take a nap or I’ll never make it back home to Peter by morning alive.” Finding a rest stop on Route 78, she closes the windows and parks her car under a lamppost as she is traveling alone. Grabbing the blanket from the back seat, and neck pillow she had since she was 14 when her parents bought it for her while leaving the Ukraine. Tilting her seat back she grabs and holds on to the pillow tightly, as it always reminded her of the things she left behind.
As she turns her tiny five-foot frame to the side she recalled that after her mother had past her father always called her his special gift. Her mother passed away giving birth to her. Her father was always there for her. As slumber starts to take hold of Sasha, she mumbles, “Oh papa, how I wish you were here to help me now.” As slumber finds its way to Sasha, the sound of the sea reaching shore fills her ears, and the voice of her very proud father holding her hand along the Black Sea when she was 13 finds her focus. “Sasha, you bring life to me.” She smiles in her slumber recalling that special day when her dad told her that they would be leaving for the United States next year. But then her dream takes a turn. “Sasha, please sit down. I need to talk with you,” her father exclaimed. Wrinkling her far head in her slumber as this part is not from her memory. “Sasha, I need to talk to you. Please sit down” pointing to the bench facing the sea she found so much comfort from as a child. “Sasha, you know that I have always loved you” his hand running along her hand as he always did to comfort her. “Yes papa. What is it?” Sasha said. “My joy is overflowing for all that you are, know this Sasha” he said assuring her. “But I am not here as a memory, I am here to help you. You know that I brought you to the United States when you were fourteen so we, you could have a better life.” “Yes, papa. I know” she replied.
“When I died last year, I know you took it really hard” he said with his hand brushing her cheek that she felt on her cheek as she slept in the car. “Papa, how is it possible you are talking to me like this, now?” Sasha said with a voice so alarmed. “Sasha, I told you that when your mother was dying after giving birth to you that I promised her I would always make sure you were ok. Even though I passed from the world, I asked to be able to come to you now” he said. “Oh papa, I really screwed up.” She grabbed on to him and released her tears upon his brown jacket holding tightly to him. “Yes, I know all about Leo Sasha. I have watched you every day since I passed. But I gave your hand to Peter two years ago at temple where you gave yourself only to him. On that day, I was so very proud of you. My heart was full of such joy” he said. “I know papa. I know I really screwed up.”
“My precious Sasha, we all make bad choices. And you driving to Vegas to shame your vows to Peter in that hotel room while Peter thinks you are at a conference for work. I have never been so ashamed to be your father” he continued. “I know papa, I know” she said through the angst in her tears. “You broke a vow Sasha, the one that you swore before God and Peter to be only with him. I never even thought about other women after I made that same vow to your mother. Your mother was always enough for me and all I could have ever asked to have in my life. Even when she passed, I kept my love for her until we reunited after my death” he said in a tone of respect.
“Sasha, I know all about Peter hitting you across the face. I saw your pain and tears that night. I know how drunk he was and that he had no right to hurt you like that my child” he said. “Papa, you saw him do that?” she said holding on to him even tighter grasping on to his lapels as she continued to say, “Papa he was so angry with me over nothing. I got three stitches on my cheek from that” she said. “I know my baby, I know” he replied holding her close to him. “He had no right to raise a hand to you. I saw all the times you cried yourself to sleep after he hit you and it broke my heart. Sasha, I don’t want you to live like that. I never would have agreed to you marrying such a man if I had known. I know you found Leo out of despair for your situation” he said with a voice of such power. “Papa, he hurts me so bad and Leo loves me and would never hurt me” Sasha said.
“I know I do really know that. Leo was always around since we first moved to the states. I always thought he was an honorable man. I was hoping he would be the man that would ask me for your hand in marriage” he exclaimed much to Sasha’s surprise. “Then you forgive me for being with Leo?” she said with surprise. “No, Sasha. One should never violate the wedding vows that you have made. But Sasha, I know you think me old fashioned. But you needed to get Peter out of your life before you should have ever reached out for Leo. I didn’t raise you to be a slut” he said firmly. “Papa, he helped heal my broken heart!” she said pulling away from him. “Sasha, I didn’t raise you to be a whore. I want you to go back to Peter.” Sasha interrupting him said, “Papa, you want me to get hurt again” she said angrily to him. “Sasha, shut up and listen. I want you to go back to Peter when he is sober and divorce him. Don’t you even go near Leo again until you resolve this with Peter. Promise me Sasha, you will not even see Leo until you are free to do so” he said much to Sasha’s surprise. “Papa, you will let me leave Peter even though I made a vow to be with him forever?” “Sasha, I never wanted you to be in pain. I promised your mother to always look out after you and I cannot stand another day of you being hit and treated in a disgraceful way even one more day. But you can’t sleep with Leo and think that this is ok! I never raised you to be such a deceitful person, did I?” he said. “No papa, you are right. God I miss you papa” she said embracing him tightly with a kiss on his cheek.
“Sasha, I want you happy and honorable. I never wanted you to be treated or treat others in the way you both have done. But what he did caused me such pain even in the afterlife. Promise me you will find a good lawyer who will allow you to have a clean break from Peter before you seek a chance to be with Leo” he said. “I will papa, I will, thank you for loving me so” she said followed by a tender kiss on his cheek like she had done hundreds of times before as a child. “Sasha, one more thing before you leave me. I want you to have something to remember I will always love you. When you open your eyes, look up and look to the sky just to the left of the moon. That bright star is me looking down on you. I will always watch over you Sasha. Open your eyes now and remember you promised me to live with the honor that I raised you to have in your life.” “I will papa, I will” Sasha said as she said this, her eyes opened. She was in her car and said “Wow. What a dream.” Her eyes looked upward and she saw the most amazing thing, a twinkling star just to the left of the moon just like he said. A tear slowly moved down her face with great joy. “I love you papa, I love you.”
Grabbing her cell phone, she quickly found the number to Leo, and told him, that she has decided to divorce Peter. She went on to tell him the experience she just had. Leo after hearing her go on about this said, “Sasha, I do love you. I will wait for you. It will kill me to wait, but I have always loved you. And you tell that son of a bitch Peter, I’ll kill him for hurting you” Leo said. “Leo, No, please, I promised my father that you would stay out of my life until I am available. If you love me you wouldn’t go anywhere near Peter or me until I’m divorced” Sasha said. “OK, but know this Sasha, I can’t promise that I wouldn’t hurt him after the divorce” Leo said. “Leo, no, please, I just want you in my life with all the love and completeness you give me by your love. If you love, me you will not go anywhere near Peter” Sasha insisted. “OK, Sasha. Only because I want you so bad it hurts. I will honor that but I promise you this I will never hurt you and will always be faithful to you for the rest of my life” Leo said. Sasha with tears streaming down her face she couldn’t speak. After a minute Leo said, “Sasha, are you there, did I lose your signal?” Sasha wiping the tears from her face, says, “Oh Leo, I am here. You just touched my heart with your words baby. I will be yours forever, just give me time to get this shit over. I love you so much Leo. Bye.” She hangs up the cell phone.
Sasha places her seat up and puts the pillow and blanket in the passenger seat. Taking a deep breath she reached for her phone again and dialed her best friend Olga. “Hello, Sasha?” Olga answered. “Hey. Yeah it’s me” she replied. “What’s wrong Sasha?” Olga replied. “Wrong? Well, nothing. I decided to leave Peter. Do you think I can move in with you for a while” Sasha said. She then proceeded to give her the details of what had happened and Olga then replied, “Wow, Sasha, you know I always have your back. The spare room is yours for as long as you need it.” “Thanks Olga, I should be there in about 2 hours.”
As she turns her tiny five-foot frame to the side she recalled that after her mother had past her father always called her his special gift. Her mother passed away giving birth to her. Her father was always there for her. As slumber starts to take hold of Sasha, she mumbles, “Oh papa, how I wish you were here to help me now.” As slumber finds its way to Sasha, the sound of the sea reaching shore fills her ears, and the voice of her very proud father holding her hand along the Black Sea when she was 13 finds her focus. “Sasha, you bring life to me.” She smiles in her slumber recalling that special day when her dad told her that they would be leaving for the United States next year. But then her dream takes a turn. “Sasha, please sit down. I need to talk with you,” her father exclaimed. Wrinkling her far head in her slumber as this part is not from her memory. “Sasha, I need to talk to you. Please sit down” pointing to the bench facing the sea she found so much comfort from as a child. “Sasha, you know that I have always loved you” his hand running along her hand as he always did to comfort her. “Yes papa. What is it?” Sasha said. “My joy is overflowing for all that you are, know this Sasha” he said assuring her. “But I am not here as a memory, I am here to help you. You know that I brought you to the United States when you were fourteen so we, you could have a better life.” “Yes, papa. I know” she replied.
“When I died last year, I know you took it really hard” he said with his hand brushing her cheek that she felt on her cheek as she slept in the car. “Papa, how is it possible you are talking to me like this, now?” Sasha said with a voice so alarmed. “Sasha, I told you that when your mother was dying after giving birth to you that I promised her I would always make sure you were ok. Even though I passed from the world, I asked to be able to come to you now” he said. “Oh papa, I really screwed up.” She grabbed on to him and released her tears upon his brown jacket holding tightly to him. “Yes, I know all about Leo Sasha. I have watched you every day since I passed. But I gave your hand to Peter two years ago at temple where you gave yourself only to him. On that day, I was so very proud of you. My heart was full of such joy” he said. “I know papa. I know I really screwed up.”
“My precious Sasha, we all make bad choices. And you driving to Vegas to shame your vows to Peter in that hotel room while Peter thinks you are at a conference for work. I have never been so ashamed to be your father” he continued. “I know papa, I know” she said through the angst in her tears. “You broke a vow Sasha, the one that you swore before God and Peter to be only with him. I never even thought about other women after I made that same vow to your mother. Your mother was always enough for me and all I could have ever asked to have in my life. Even when she passed, I kept my love for her until we reunited after my death” he said in a tone of respect.
“Sasha, I know all about Peter hitting you across the face. I saw your pain and tears that night. I know how drunk he was and that he had no right to hurt you like that my child” he said. “Papa, you saw him do that?” she said holding on to him even tighter grasping on to his lapels as she continued to say, “Papa he was so angry with me over nothing. I got three stitches on my cheek from that” she said. “I know my baby, I know” he replied holding her close to him. “He had no right to raise a hand to you. I saw all the times you cried yourself to sleep after he hit you and it broke my heart. Sasha, I don’t want you to live like that. I never would have agreed to you marrying such a man if I had known. I know you found Leo out of despair for your situation” he said with a voice of such power. “Papa, he hurts me so bad and Leo loves me and would never hurt me” Sasha said.
“I know I do really know that. Leo was always around since we first moved to the states. I always thought he was an honorable man. I was hoping he would be the man that would ask me for your hand in marriage” he exclaimed much to Sasha’s surprise. “Then you forgive me for being with Leo?” she said with surprise. “No, Sasha. One should never violate the wedding vows that you have made. But Sasha, I know you think me old fashioned. But you needed to get Peter out of your life before you should have ever reached out for Leo. I didn’t raise you to be a slut” he said firmly. “Papa, he helped heal my broken heart!” she said pulling away from him. “Sasha, I didn’t raise you to be a whore. I want you to go back to Peter.” Sasha interrupting him said, “Papa, you want me to get hurt again” she said angrily to him. “Sasha, shut up and listen. I want you to go back to Peter when he is sober and divorce him. Don’t you even go near Leo again until you resolve this with Peter. Promise me Sasha, you will not even see Leo until you are free to do so” he said much to Sasha’s surprise. “Papa, you will let me leave Peter even though I made a vow to be with him forever?” “Sasha, I never wanted you to be in pain. I promised your mother to always look out after you and I cannot stand another day of you being hit and treated in a disgraceful way even one more day. But you can’t sleep with Leo and think that this is ok! I never raised you to be such a deceitful person, did I?” he said. “No papa, you are right. God I miss you papa” she said embracing him tightly with a kiss on his cheek.
“Sasha, I want you happy and honorable. I never wanted you to be treated or treat others in the way you both have done. But what he did caused me such pain even in the afterlife. Promise me you will find a good lawyer who will allow you to have a clean break from Peter before you seek a chance to be with Leo” he said. “I will papa, I will, thank you for loving me so” she said followed by a tender kiss on his cheek like she had done hundreds of times before as a child. “Sasha, one more thing before you leave me. I want you to have something to remember I will always love you. When you open your eyes, look up and look to the sky just to the left of the moon. That bright star is me looking down on you. I will always watch over you Sasha. Open your eyes now and remember you promised me to live with the honor that I raised you to have in your life.” “I will papa, I will” Sasha said as she said this, her eyes opened. She was in her car and said “Wow. What a dream.” Her eyes looked upward and she saw the most amazing thing, a twinkling star just to the left of the moon just like he said. A tear slowly moved down her face with great joy. “I love you papa, I love you.”
Grabbing her cell phone, she quickly found the number to Leo, and told him, that she has decided to divorce Peter. She went on to tell him the experience she just had. Leo after hearing her go on about this said, “Sasha, I do love you. I will wait for you. It will kill me to wait, but I have always loved you. And you tell that son of a bitch Peter, I’ll kill him for hurting you” Leo said. “Leo, No, please, I promised my father that you would stay out of my life until I am available. If you love me you wouldn’t go anywhere near Peter or me until I’m divorced” Sasha said. “OK, but know this Sasha, I can’t promise that I wouldn’t hurt him after the divorce” Leo said. “Leo, no, please, I just want you in my life with all the love and completeness you give me by your love. If you love, me you will not go anywhere near Peter” Sasha insisted. “OK, Sasha. Only because I want you so bad it hurts. I will honor that but I promise you this I will never hurt you and will always be faithful to you for the rest of my life” Leo said. Sasha with tears streaming down her face she couldn’t speak. After a minute Leo said, “Sasha, are you there, did I lose your signal?” Sasha wiping the tears from her face, says, “Oh Leo, I am here. You just touched my heart with your words baby. I will be yours forever, just give me time to get this shit over. I love you so much Leo. Bye.” She hangs up the cell phone.
Sasha places her seat up and puts the pillow and blanket in the passenger seat. Taking a deep breath she reached for her phone again and dialed her best friend Olga. “Hello, Sasha?” Olga answered. “Hey. Yeah it’s me” she replied. “What’s wrong Sasha?” Olga replied. “Wrong? Well, nothing. I decided to leave Peter. Do you think I can move in with you for a while” Sasha said. She then proceeded to give her the details of what had happened and Olga then replied, “Wow, Sasha, you know I always have your back. The spare room is yours for as long as you need it.” “Thanks Olga, I should be there in about 2 hours.”
Sasha, biting her bottom lip in the corner like she did every time she was nervous. She highlighted her home phone number. Looking up to the moon she found the star just to the left and saw a twinkle with such beauty that it gave her the courage to press dial on the phone. “Hello, Sasha, where the fuck are you?” Peter said. “You should have been here hours ago.” Sasha replied, “Peter, it’s over. I am never going to be hit by you again. I have had it with you. I am calling my lawyer in the morning and divorcing you.” Peter responding in a tone she was all too familiar to hearing. “Sasha, you can’t do that. You’re my wife” he said firmly. “Peter, don’t bother trying to find me, I’m going away and my lawyer will contact you with the papers based on the abuse you did to me. And yes, the hospital pictures of my stitches will be submitted to the judge along with a request for a restraining order so don’t try any of your shit. I wouldn’t hesitate to contact the school board about how you beat me over and over. I’m sure your teaching job will disappear in a heartbeat if you want to play hard ball. It’s over.” Peter taken back by her ability to stand up to him like she never did before said, “I hope you’re happy you waste of flesh. Fine, you got your divorce, just don’t take my job away from me it is all I’ll have left.”
As Sasha hung up the phone, she felt this great calm upon her like never before. She looked up to the moon and over just slightly to the left and stared at that star for five minutes saying over and over again, papa, thanks for loving me that much. She started her car and put in a CD from the glove compartment that she hadn’t played since she was 17. Finding the on-ramp, she hit track 6 and Gloria Gaynor’s - I will Survive filled the car as she sang along with meaning she never felt before.
A Path of a Different Kind BY: Ron Brown
Sun rays find the peach skin of Mary with a massage of heat as she lay on the beach of contentment. Her darkened sunglasses keeping harm from her eyes. As breaths of the welcoming air fill her lungs a baited release of air accompanying the tracks of tears streaming down her cheeks. Flashes appear in her mind of last night and the path which lead her to be upon this beach alone. Tender kisses upon her neck from Roberto, the pressing of her arms against the wall of the hotel room. Desire, lust and purpose whirling through her mind as he found his way to the nape of her neck with tender kisses and nibbles that only he could deliver.
Mary’s sigh released upon the warm beach as her mind continues to flash back to last night. Roberto’s touch upon the small of her back as he led her to the bed caused quivering to her frame. Feeling the heat of his chest as he lay upon her enveloping her every sense with pleasure she had waited a life time to experience.
The sound of a seagull brings her back to the beach and with a swipe of her hand the tears were wiped away. She rose to her feet quickly taking the towel in her arm, she moved slowly away from the sound of the crashing surf. A flash again in her mind brought her to the shower after pleasure’s release last night. Roberto washing her back tenderly as kisses of a life time continued to be exchanged. She stops and drops the towel, drops to her knees and whimpers “oh Roberto” releasing a flow of emotions that the wait of her frame could not contain.
Flashes of Roberto drying off his very manly frame came to mind. She watched on as he slipped into his very tight jeans and grabbed the keys from the night stand. His words with a haunting echo pierced her mind, “Mary, I’ll be right back my amore.” Then the door closing behind him and the sound of crashing cars and red lights flashing filled her mind. Seeing in her mind she saw the blood upon the pavement and her fainting upon the pavement. The crowd still visible in her eyes she called out for Roberto. No answer was heard.
She only remembered waking up on the beach. “Oh God”, she cried out, “why am I here and is Roberto dead? Then a hand reached down to her as she was curled into a ball on the beach. A hand touches her shoulder as a man’s voice with a heavy Latin accent said, “Mary” as her eyes looked up, she saw those rich brown eyes of Roberto. She said, “Roberto, you’re alive”. Roberto with a full smile upon his face helped her to her feet. “Mary, I told you I’d be back my sweet amore”. Mary holding on to him and kissing his sweet lips, said “But how? You, you were in that car accident and all the blood.” Roberto saying only “shhhhh, me amore” lead her back to the hotel room. Mary, looking at Roberto, said “I don’t understand. How can you be here? I saw you die.”
Roberto holding her close said, “Mary, you don’t remember do you?” Mary said, “what, tell me.” Roberto said “I did die last night. And you did see my blood on the pavement. But Mary, do you remember falling to the pavement last night?” Mary said, “Yeah, I do.” Roberto replied, “My sweet Mary, your love for me is real, yes?” Mary replied, “You know I do my darling, but I don’t understand?” “Mary, when you fell on the pavement, you hit your head.” Roberto replied.
“Mary, you are not really here. You are in the hospital. Come on I will show you.” Taking Mary’s hand a bright flash occurred and suddenly they were in a hospital room where a women lay in a hospital bed with her head bandaged. “Mary, that is you”, Roberto replied. “You went into a coma a month ago.” Mary responded, but Roberto, that happened last night.” Roberto, said “No Mary you have been in a coma for a month now.” I am here to help you wake from the coma. I love you Mary and want you to live.” Mary replied, “But, Roberto, why aren’t you in my hospital room?” Running his manly fingers through her hair and kissing her lips, Roberto said, “Me amore, I can’t be there, I am here with you now.” Mary said, “I don’t understand.” Roberto looking into her eyes holding her head with his hands, gazed into her eyes and said, “Mary, you know I am so in love with you, but I didn’t survive that car accident, you did. I asked the angels to let me help you to come out of your coma.” Mary, holding on to Roberto, said, “if waking from that coma means I lose you, then I don’t want to ever wake up.”
Roberto holding her tightly said, “you don’t understand. Our love will go on. Remember our night of true passion in the hotel room?” Mary replied, “Oh yes. I never felt so complete as a women. That is why I don’t want to leave you.” Roberto, with a smile said, “me amore, that night of passion was truly magical. In fact, do you see you laying in that hospital bed?” Mary said, “Yes, but I want to stay here with you.” Roberto said, “Mary, you can’t. You see that night of passion was truly worth my life. In fact, you have our baby growing in your womb. If you don’t wake up the fruit of our love might never be born.” Mary, with tears in her eyes said, “I’m pregnant with our baby?” Roberto said, “Mary, yes, you are carrying our son. So you see if you don’t wake up from your coma, then our son will never be born. For me, Mary, me amore, wake up and raise our child.”
The sound of a heart monitor became sharp in Mary’s ear and then her eyes opened to see a nurse standing over her. “Roberto!” Mary said. The nurse looking puzzled, said, “I’m Barbara your nurse, welcome back.” Mary said, “Where is Roberto?” As Mary looked to the window she saw a light slowly moving away rising upward. In her mind she could hear an echoing voice saying, “Mary, me amore love our baby and in doing so you will be showing your love for me”.
The nurse holding Mary’s hand said, “Mary, I’m sorry Roberto isn’t here.” Mary smiling with a tear in her eye replied, “I know.” Her hand moved across her stomach as if to caress their son, said, “I know.”
Mary’s sigh released upon the warm beach as her mind continues to flash back to last night. Roberto’s touch upon the small of her back as he led her to the bed caused quivering to her frame. Feeling the heat of his chest as he lay upon her enveloping her every sense with pleasure she had waited a life time to experience.
The sound of a seagull brings her back to the beach and with a swipe of her hand the tears were wiped away. She rose to her feet quickly taking the towel in her arm, she moved slowly away from the sound of the crashing surf. A flash again in her mind brought her to the shower after pleasure’s release last night. Roberto washing her back tenderly as kisses of a life time continued to be exchanged. She stops and drops the towel, drops to her knees and whimpers “oh Roberto” releasing a flow of emotions that the wait of her frame could not contain.
Flashes of Roberto drying off his very manly frame came to mind. She watched on as he slipped into his very tight jeans and grabbed the keys from the night stand. His words with a haunting echo pierced her mind, “Mary, I’ll be right back my amore.” Then the door closing behind him and the sound of crashing cars and red lights flashing filled her mind. Seeing in her mind she saw the blood upon the pavement and her fainting upon the pavement. The crowd still visible in her eyes she called out for Roberto. No answer was heard.
She only remembered waking up on the beach. “Oh God”, she cried out, “why am I here and is Roberto dead? Then a hand reached down to her as she was curled into a ball on the beach. A hand touches her shoulder as a man’s voice with a heavy Latin accent said, “Mary” as her eyes looked up, she saw those rich brown eyes of Roberto. She said, “Roberto, you’re alive”. Roberto with a full smile upon his face helped her to her feet. “Mary, I told you I’d be back my sweet amore”. Mary holding on to him and kissing his sweet lips, said “But how? You, you were in that car accident and all the blood.” Roberto saying only “shhhhh, me amore” lead her back to the hotel room. Mary, looking at Roberto, said “I don’t understand. How can you be here? I saw you die.”
Roberto holding her close said, “Mary, you don’t remember do you?” Mary said, “what, tell me.” Roberto said “I did die last night. And you did see my blood on the pavement. But Mary, do you remember falling to the pavement last night?” Mary said, “Yeah, I do.” Roberto replied, “My sweet Mary, your love for me is real, yes?” Mary replied, “You know I do my darling, but I don’t understand?” “Mary, when you fell on the pavement, you hit your head.” Roberto replied.
“Mary, you are not really here. You are in the hospital. Come on I will show you.” Taking Mary’s hand a bright flash occurred and suddenly they were in a hospital room where a women lay in a hospital bed with her head bandaged. “Mary, that is you”, Roberto replied. “You went into a coma a month ago.” Mary responded, but Roberto, that happened last night.” Roberto, said “No Mary you have been in a coma for a month now.” I am here to help you wake from the coma. I love you Mary and want you to live.” Mary replied, “But, Roberto, why aren’t you in my hospital room?” Running his manly fingers through her hair and kissing her lips, Roberto said, “Me amore, I can’t be there, I am here with you now.” Mary said, “I don’t understand.” Roberto looking into her eyes holding her head with his hands, gazed into her eyes and said, “Mary, you know I am so in love with you, but I didn’t survive that car accident, you did. I asked the angels to let me help you to come out of your coma.” Mary, holding on to Roberto, said, “if waking from that coma means I lose you, then I don’t want to ever wake up.”
Roberto holding her tightly said, “you don’t understand. Our love will go on. Remember our night of true passion in the hotel room?” Mary replied, “Oh yes. I never felt so complete as a women. That is why I don’t want to leave you.” Roberto, with a smile said, “me amore, that night of passion was truly magical. In fact, do you see you laying in that hospital bed?” Mary said, “Yes, but I want to stay here with you.” Roberto said, “Mary, you can’t. You see that night of passion was truly worth my life. In fact, you have our baby growing in your womb. If you don’t wake up the fruit of our love might never be born.” Mary, with tears in her eyes said, “I’m pregnant with our baby?” Roberto said, “Mary, yes, you are carrying our son. So you see if you don’t wake up from your coma, then our son will never be born. For me, Mary, me amore, wake up and raise our child.”
The sound of a heart monitor became sharp in Mary’s ear and then her eyes opened to see a nurse standing over her. “Roberto!” Mary said. The nurse looking puzzled, said, “I’m Barbara your nurse, welcome back.” Mary said, “Where is Roberto?” As Mary looked to the window she saw a light slowly moving away rising upward. In her mind she could hear an echoing voice saying, “Mary, me amore love our baby and in doing so you will be showing your love for me”.
The nurse holding Mary’s hand said, “Mary, I’m sorry Roberto isn’t here.” Mary smiling with a tear in her eye replied, “I know.” Her hand moved across her stomach as if to caress their son, said, “I know.”
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